Anorgasmia is often described as the inability to orgasm frequently, or simply the difficulty to reach climax when experiencing intimate moments. It should be noted that, while some women can engage in sexual intercourse and feel stimulated at the same time, anorgasmia can still be there, preventing them from reaching the higher point of orgasms.
You should first know that orgasms are not all there is to a fulfilling sexual life. You can be perfectly happy with your stimulation without even reaching climax. Anorgasmia becomes a real problem when women are aware that something is truly missing from their sex life, and that they deserve more than their current experiences.
On another note, you can reach orgasms through many forms. The logical form that comes to mind when speaking about sex is orgasms through penetrative means, but in truth, most orgasms come from stimulation of the clitoris, whether it’d be through direct contact, or simply from indirect contact. This all depends on different factors, like age, personal body preferences and more. If you take into consideration different symptoms like vaginismus or clitoral atrophy, you should understand that what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Biird has written a good article on the why and how of clitoral atrophy.
How Do I Know I Suffer From Anorgasmia?
Experiencing an orgasm is totally different according to each person. While some may scream once they reach climax, others will remain silent. Intensity is the key, and not everyone’s equal on that, as we all have different bodies and ways of reacting to pleasure. The muscles located in your pelvic region will basically dictate how you’re going to react, and concerns should not be raised if yours is quieter than your neighbor’s.
What needs to raise the alarm is if you have gone a long time without being able to experience orgasms, while living a normal sex life. Lifelong anorgasmia is used to describe when one has never experienced an orgasm within their entire life. If your orgasm frequency is on the downside after some time, that is generally called acquired anorgasmia. Generalized anorgasmia is used to describe a persistent state of not reaching climax.
What Are The Causes?
Causes can be both physical and psychological.
In terms of physical ones, look out for gynecological problems (cancer treatments, hysterectomy in particular), medications (antidepressants or antihistamines), alcohol and smoking problems, aging, menopause, or specific diseases like Parkinson or Sclerosis.
Whereas psychological causes could be: anxiety, depression, stress, history of sexual abuse, or simply being too self-conscious of your body.
Not being happy in a relationship could also be a strong factor in suffering from anorgasmia, and that includes any cases of domestic abuse.
When To Get Your Doctor’s Opinion
Don’t hesitate to ask an expert’s opinion if you believe you might be prone to anorgasmia. Listening to someone that would have been in contact with people suffering from it will lower your stress, and help you understand clearly what’s been afflicting you, whether it’d be anorgasmia or another momentary condition.
Expect to answer some straightforward questions about your sexual life and your relationship, as this will help the doctor to understand all the bottlenecks that led to a lack of orgasms. It’s not unusual to take part in some physical tests, in order to confirm if the issue is physical, psychological, or both.
The Best Treatments for Anorgasmia
Work on Your Erogenous Zones
It’s utterly important to know how your body reacts to sexual stimulation, and thus knowing all your erogenous zones is a gift when it comes to the search of the almighty orgasm. If you’re not sure about them, try touching different parts of your body (or simply ask your partner to do so) while engaging in sexual acts. Some people discover very late that some parts, like their nipples, necks or else are very responding when it comes to sensual signals. Up to you to fully grasp the range of your emotions depending on which zones are titillated.
Think Of The Clit
Some women can’t fully orgasm just by penetrative sex. That’s totally normal, as the clitoris area contains thousands of nerve endings that can be stimulated either by direct contact, or by indirect contact. Try using what is known as a clitoral sucker, a little sex toy that generates air pressure to fully stimulate all those hidden nerves, and you might be able to see a big difference in terms of climax. The good thing about it is that it can work in an extremely fast manner, with women being able to reach the finish line in less than a minute!
Sex Therapists Are Here To Help
If talking to your family doctor about your sexual life and its short givings is not something you look forward to, try reaching out to a real sex therapist. They’re trained in everything sex related, and will be able to help you understand better what’s wrong with your sexual life. They might give you advice on your communication skills as well, as it’s primordial in your relationship. There’s no better way to work on your sex education.
Try Hormonal Therapy
If you’re experiencing anorgasmia post-menopause, the solution might lie in hormonal therapy. It’s a great way to restore your estrogen levels, which might be the cause in your failing libido. It usually involves taking pills, or applying different creams in order to make a change in your estrogen production.
Don’t think of anorgasmia as a fatality. Everyone can enjoy their sexual life in many different ways, and it’s up to you to find the right balance. If you really suffer from it, make sure to ask experts (doctors or sexual therapists) about the best ways to overcome it. The orgasm you’ve been looking for is not that far away.